Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
