To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
