i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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