i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
