listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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