remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
