Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
