Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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