doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
