i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
