I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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