wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
