She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
