You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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