Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
