she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize