I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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