chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
