Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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