I bet he comes in French.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
