i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
