I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
