we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
