That's intense
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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