it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
