Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
