you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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