I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
