So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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