I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
