508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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