when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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