ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
