they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Come see our sink grown plant.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize