I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
