Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
