I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
do nipples grow back?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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