When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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