you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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