Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
