Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
