p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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