I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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