Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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