It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i came on her dog
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
