The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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