That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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