She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
