stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
