he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
