he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
