like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
