butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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