Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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