i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
