she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
