Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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