i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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