Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
