he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
