Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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