Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
