We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
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