you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
