I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
