Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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