just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
