elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
