The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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