My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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