whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
